I am a single man, 41* years old, living in London and working in the media. My love is recording music, which I consider a serious hobby. My life is complex and feels like it is full of unfathomable contradictions. I don’t seem to have all the answers any more. Over the last few years I have been feeling like I am slowly losing my way and this feeling is gradually starting to weigh heavily on my shoulders sapping me of energy, strength and motivation. I now believe that I must try and address some of these issues and curious contradictions before I hit that slippery slope of no return.  So, I have decided to take positive steps to try and make some sense of what’s happening to me, find out who I really am, and then figure out how to forge a better life for myself.

I am writing this blog anonymously as I believe that only by remaining anonymous, can I be truly honest and speak freely about my thoughts and feelings.  I have no idea where this blog will take me…

* 42 now

10 Responses to About

  1. susan says:

    Please stay anon. I outed myself by accident…… and it can really backfire, especially if you are currently working.

    If I had to do it again, and being a bit more computer savvy, I would have done it all differently.

    • RescueMyLife says:

      I will definitely remain anonymous as it really is the only way I can write openly and honestly. I think a lot of what I am saying in this blog would upset an awful lot of people, and there are some things which I am yet to write about, that I am definitely not prepared to share with anyone who actually knows me.
      It sounds like you had a bad experience – I can only imagine what would happen if I was ‘found out’ – I fully intend for that never to happen!

  2. Nick Jenner says:

    Hi Anon

    I came across your site by chance and was amazed to find my name listed here. There is much to be said for writing your thoughts and I can feel that this blog is therapy for you. Please keep it going…the entries are surely an inspiration to others as well.

    • RescueMyLife says:

      Hi Nick,
      Thanks for the message – I found you on Twitter and have read several of your blog posts which I have found both thought-provoking and enlightening.
      Your words of wisdom absolutely deserve their place on my blog roll.
      I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog and am grateful for your encouraging words.

  3. Matt says:

    Cheers, Mate. You are, in key respects, describing MY life too! I can so very much relate to some of the challenges that you are outlining in this insightful blog. I’ve been struggling with much the same. I can say this much: It’s taken me a good long while to understand how absolutely integral honesty (both with oneself and others) is to getting down to the (admittedly) hard work of forging a satisfying, meaningful life. At least we have the opportunity even to CONTEMPLATE where we may have gone off the rails a bit and how we might get back in the proper (or new) direction. None of this is to say the enterprise is easy or straightforward, but this blog by itself suggests a serious desire to engage with ideas that matter in an effort to understand yourself, your context and your goals with better clarity and sincerity than most ever dare. Bravo, and best of luck.

    • RescueMyLife says:

      Hi Matt,
      Thanks so much the nice words. The honesty thing I agree is essential to this process… I just wish it wasn’t so damned painful! Laying it all bare like this in a blog is reopening old wounds and creating new ones – I’m black & blue at the moment and I haven’t even yet had the guts to tackle a couple of my biggest issues… one in particular… so I think things are probably going to get a lot worse for me before they start getting better.
      Your encouragement is really appreciated and it’s very nice to know that other people are struggling with some of the same issues as me… it really is a comfort and a boost.
      Thanks again.

  4. HH, Editor says:

    Thank you for adding your voice. Anonymous or not, it’s a real voice and helping depression to be heard by those who haven’t lived it as well as those who have and both of those things can only be good for all of us.
    Suicide, a Biography

  5. Izzi says:

    Returned the favor by the way
    Welcome to my blogroll

  6. Zsolt says:

    Hi there, your blog has really touched me as it seems we are struggling with the same problems, including the biggest one: our own fears. I appreciate your honesty – not just the one telling the truth but the one wanting to break out the cage. I think there is something wrong with the society making such creative and loving persons get themselves into smaller and smaller boxes. Self expression is the very meaning of life and we know exactly what happens when it is hindered. I do not want to sound esoteric or quote cheap cliches but, on the other hand, we (including our believes) must also change to change the world around. Anyway, I hope you are OK and you have stopped blogging because you actually found peace and live a happier and fuller life now. Be that way, Zsolt

  7. LD says:


    I just happened to come across your blog whilst looking up depression med withdrawals. I have had a read and I love your blog. Life isn’t always rosey and you put that into words quite eloquently.

    I hope you keep writing.

    LD x

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