Burning Bridges – Update

In case anyone is wondering what I decided to do regarding my marathon post yesterday; after sleeping on it, I decided the only thing I could do, was to break my radio silence (which was just making things worse by the day for all concerned), bite the bullet and arrange to meet Frank and tell him to his face everything that is bothering me about the band, his wedding, him and everything else, then hear what he has to say, then move forward (or not) from there. So, I texted him a little earlier & have arranged to meet next Saturday afternoon…. Can’t say I’m looking forward to it.

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About RescueMyLife

I am a single man, 45 years old living in London and working in the media. My life is complex and I have decided to try and make some sense of it. I am writing this blog anonymously as I believe that only by remaining anonymous can I be honest and speak freely about my thoughts and feelings. I have no idea where this blog will take me...
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6 Responses to Burning Bridges – Update

  1. MrsP says:

    Er, that was indeed a marathon post and I am probably not the person to make any useful comment as any form of confrontation scares the crap out of me!
    What I would say, specifically in reference to the previous post, is; I wonder if ‘Frank’ actually didn’t discuss your initial email with ‘John’ out of respect for you. Which could be why ‘John’ emailed to talk about the band at the wedding? Also, it sounds like your friend is worried about you and considering you are so down it is easy sometimes to burn bridges and isolate yourself. Maybe it would be an idea to meet up and be honest about how you are struggling and to put off any decisions about the future of the band for a couple of months. I have made decisions in the past while I have been unwell / struggling and if I am honest they haven’t been the best ones!

    I can see ‘Frank’s point about the wedding stuff too. When you get engaged I guess you just want everyone to be happy for you. I would think that he would understand that the time of year is a difficult one for you though, but perhaps having not lived through those difficulties himself the strength of your reaction was a shock to him.
    Whatever happens I hope it goes ok. As I said, I am no good at these sorts of things. Sorry I cannot help.

    I hope the GP thing goes ok too. I actually don’t see my GP, I see another one at the practice as I have real issues trusting people with mental health issues (my issues not theirs) and only speak to one GP about this. Other ailments (should I ever get the guts to actually make an appointment) I don’t specify a doctor for as it’s more like a business transaction! I tend not to go unless I am sure I need a prescription I guess.

    Take care. Mrs P

  2. RescueMyLife says:

    Thanks for your thoughts on this MrsP – I think you are right that I shouldn’t make any decisions for a couple of months – or at least until my head is in a slightly more ‘stable’ state. The whole situation is probably not helped by the fact that I absolutely loath weddings…

    As far as the doctor tomorrow is concerned I can feel myself getting cold feet… I’m really not great about going to the doctor about anything to be honest let alone about my mental health!! The thought absolutely horrifies me. I’m having a bit of an internal battle at the moment – I just want to pick up the phone and cancel the appointment but I know that I should go through with it. I’m just being a coward because I’m frightened of my doctor’s reaction. Then I’m frightened what MY reaction will be to him if he makes me feel like I’m wasting his time, as it is possible that I won’t react very well…

  3. MrsP says:

    I am having same thoughts about my up-coming appointment if I’m honest! I always do. My head empties when I go through the door & I feel I’m making a fuss. I even write stuff but never show it & it feels silly. Having said that, my GP gets it out of me, body language I guess gives me away. Filling in the forms about how you’ve felt in the past week / two weeks or whatever. One’s a HADS form and I forget the other. Then they work out the score and go from there. Maybe you could just go in and give a brief outline and hopefully he’ll give you the forms to complete which saves a lot of awkwardness in describing thoughts in words? Good luck anyway.

    • RescueMyLife says:

      So I’ve just got back from the Doctors – I’m going to write a post about it so won’t go into it here, but I somehow managed not to bottle out. It was all a little more traumatic than I thought it was going to be to be honest, but to give him credit, my doctor was actually great. I did fill out one of those forms you mention and apparently I had quite a high score. I’m going back to see him again next Thursday & I have to make a few decisions about what path I want to take treatment-wise. Oh boy.

  4. MrsP says:

    Well done! Glad GP supportive. Decisions, decisions. Hope you feel a bit better having taken first step at least.

    • RescueMyLife says:

      Thanks Mrs P – sorry I somehow missed your 2 comments. I decided to give the medication a go & after a few weeks start up some CBT therapy… I’ve started a Medication Diary so it will be interesting to see if things improve. RML

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