Something for the weekend

This weekend is a typical weekend for me these days. I have a lie in on Saturday morning having gone to bed at about 2am the night before after watching a few more episodes of Stargate SG1 season 1 – I’m playing catch up with a lot of tv shows at the moment. I’ve still got another 9 seasons of Stargate to go, then Stargate Atlantis & Universe… that will keep me going for a while. Then I’ve got series 2-5 of The Wire to watch, 1st 3 seasons of Mad Men, 7 x seasons of The West Wing, I thought I’d give Glee a go for a laugh, the new series of Upstairs Downstairs, Life on Mars, Ashes to Ashes, Enterprise the list goes on…. that’s a lot of TV. Consider it a long-term project. So I get up, feed the cats, make a cup of tea, look around the flat at all the little things that need doing… maybe tomorrow… have a half-hearted attempt at tidying up a bit, then generally procrastonate, doing a great deal of not very much. By midday I’ve been thinking for most of the morning about getting in the car and driving to Waitrose for my weekly shop. Now I have a car again, I generally opt to drive to Waitrose rather than the healthy walk I always used to make up the hill to Sainsburys. My local Sainsburys is woefully lacking and Waitrose is king of the supermarkets so there’s no competition really. Only trouble is I end up spending £20-40 more on my weekly shop if I go to Waitrose – not because it’s more expensive per se, but they have so much more stuff that you don’t really need but looks so good… Before you know it your shopping trolley is full & the bored looking cashier has just asked you for £100. How I manage not to flinch or twitch every time that happens I’ll never know. I can’t bloody afford to spend £100 a week on groceries!

This morning was no exception. I had decided that I had enough food in the cupboards that I didn’t need to do a weekly shop this week… an effort to save money. Then I realised I had to go to the supermarket as I needed to get some more cat food. So I drove to Waitrose just for cat food… oh & while I’m there I might as well pick up a couple of bottles of wine…. oh actually I’ve nearly run out of proper butter… and actually it would be quite nice to have a piece of fish for dinner tonight… god don’t those mussels look nice I’ll just grab those too… oh look chunky fishfingers they look great & I haven’t had fish fingers for years………… £55.65. Didn’t I do well.

Back home, put the weekly shop that I didn’t need this week, away into my already full cupboards & fridge switch on my computer, put some laundry on, tidy up a bit more, a bit of half-hearted cleaning, more procrastination, then sit & start plowing through more episodes of Stargate…. by 6pm I’m on my 3rd episode & my 3rd bottle of beer (the 6pm rule doesn’t count at the weekends). By 8pm I get up & cook my fish – Lemon Sole – I managed to skin it too which I was quite proud of as I’d never tried skinning a fish before – it’s always looked too difficult so I usually just cook the fish with the skin on. It wasn’t difficult at all – it actually was as easy as the chefs on TV make it look – there’s a thing. I made a sauce from butter, vermouth, lemon, parsley and cream – it was most satisfactory.

I’m having to acquaint myself more with fish now as I’m trying to cut down my red meat intake. I could happily just eat lamb and beef for every meal for the rest of my life. I adore red meat and therefore I eat too much of it. I won’t even blink about shoving 8 lamb chops down my throat in one sitting. I will eat an entire half shoulder (all be it a small one), I even once ate a whole 32 ounce steak in the USA about 15 years ago. Admittedly that was gross & I felt pretty ill for a few days afterwards, but I did it. After the latest health scaremongering on the news about how much red meat we really should be eating, I realised that I should really cut down. According to the news report, I eat a weeks worth of red meat in one meal. Not great. So fish fish fish it is… & of course good old chicken. Thank god for chicken.

Now it’s 11:30pm on Saturday night & I’m writing this – I had a break from the beer for a couple of hours, I’ll have another one or two, watch an episode or two of Mad Men just to break up the StarGate marathon a bit, then I’ll go to bed.

Tomorrow, I’ll do a bit more pottering & tidying, will watch more tv, I’ll have to pop next door to feed their cats as they’re away this weekend (yes I did remember to feed them earlier this evening), will cook something at some unspecified time in the afternoon – anywhere between 12:30 -6pm, maybe play the piano a bit & other than that I will basically do bugger all. And that will be another weekend spent quite happily doing absolutely nothing of worth.

And there is one small part of the problem – I don’t WANT to do anything. I’m happy bimbling around going to the supermarket, cooking, watching trashy tv shows, not seeing anyone, not speaking to anyone, not doing anything. Aren’t I supposed to be going for walks in the park, meeting friends for a drink in a pub somewhere, going to the cinema, the theatre, a restaurant, a museum, a gallery, meeting someone for sex, driving down to Brighton… something!! My god I’m such a boring twat I don’t know what happened. I can barely face reading this back because I think I will despise the person I’m reading about. Oh what an inspiration I am.

So now I’ve just acknowledged my despicable dullness, I do feel guilty about yet another wasted weekend. I think perhaps I need to plan my weekends weeks in advance to stop me from just doing nothing at all at every possible opportunity. Make a rule that I have to go and do one thing each day of the weekend. OK that’s it – there is my new rule. Every Saturday and every Sunday I have to go and do one thing out in the big wide world…. and the supermarket doesn’t count!

It starts tomorrow. Tomorrow I will go for a walk at midday in Crystal Palace Park. I may even have a pint of Guinness in the pub on the way home.


About RescueMyLife

I am a single man, 45 years old living in London and working in the media. My life is complex and I have decided to try and make some sense of it. I am writing this blog anonymously as I believe that only by remaining anonymous can I be honest and speak freely about my thoughts and feelings. I have no idea where this blog will take me...
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